Monday, June 22, 2009

Anatomy of a failure

Hello, fellow wizards. At the behest of Mr. Dworgyn, and on behalf of the Death School, I'd like to give you a quick class on how NOT to go about battling.

The title of this lesson is:

ANATOMY OF A FAILURE:

So get your quills and ink ready, and I'll put our projection slide up.

Let's call it "How many things are wrong with this picture?"So, as you can see from this slide, several basic rules, if followed correctly, would have prevented this scenario. Let's cover them, in order.

1) When running a high-level area, bring friends. Empty slots are wasted firepower.
2) Bring enough cards. This may seem self-evident, but no 2 battles are alike. Just 'cause you did a 4-on-1 with that same deck...
3)If you choose to ignore (1), At least follow (2). Plan for a long, drawn out battle.
4) If you're dumb enough to ignore (3), and (2), AND (1), well, then: just go directly to :
5) If you're up to (5), you've failed already. You're gonna die, or flee. Either way, you've wasted all your time getting this far. You have failed to follow "The Law of the 7 P's".

What, You may ask , is this "Law of the 7 P's"? Quite simple, really.

Prior Proper Planning Prevents Pretty Poor Performance.

See, how easy is that? Obviously, for the dummy in our above example, it was too much to ask.
Don't be a dummy. Just remember "7P's", and you won't be a failure.

Thank you for your time. Class dismissed.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

#2 can be fixed by including a pair of Reshuffle cards. Why two? A single one lets you reshuffle once, but it gets discarded after that so you can't use it again. Always discard the first one drawn, so you have one in your discards to get reshuffled back into your deck when you play the other one. This effectively gives you a bottomless deck.

Fatal Exception said...

Excellent point! So noted. Give yourself an A+